


tell me i'll be alright again

by germain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Meeting in a Bar, alcohol mention, mentions of snot, not really angsty enough for three angst tags, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 09:26:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11124357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/germain/pseuds/germain
Summary: the first time they meet, harry is sitting in a pub and sobbing into his mojito. things can only go up from here, really.(harry's dealing with a failing friendship and a stranger in a bar offers a shoulder to cry on and you can just guess who that stranger is)





	tell me i'll be alright again

"...and it's not that i'm afraid of not having friends, i'm just scared of not having him as my friend, you know?"

harry swallowed in an attempt to clear his throat of whatever's choking him up, but a fresh wave of tears washed down his cheeks when liam's hand started rubbing his back, warm even through the thin sweater. it was may, but you couldn't really tell with the daily rain, and who is too cool to wear a sweater to a bar? not harry. not when he's ready to spend the night in self-pity, like he's been doing for the past days.

he rubbed his already wet sleeves across his face and nodded in thanks when liam handed him a paper napkin from the small metal stand on the table that's probably meant for spilled drinks. whatever, he's spilling his /heart/ here. that's more important, surely.

poor, sweet liam. he's been nothing but a good pal, agreeing to go out with the prospect of a boring night ahead, dealing with snot and self-imposed melancholy, humming everytime harry goes on a yet another rant.

harry blew his nose and decided liam must know how much is his effort appreciated.

"liam...liam, i'm sorry you have to deal with this. i appreciate it! i really do. i hope you know that." harry nodded fervently to let him know just how much he appreciates it. they met only a few months ago in a class they both took and have been more of casual buddies than close friends, mainly because they never got to spend much time together that was not somehow tied to school, but harry was very grateful, and also beyond being embarrassed.

"that's okay, pal."

liam was sitting next to him on the worn, soft red leather of the bench in a booth as far from the bar as they could get on a mildly crowded wednesday night with not many seats available. it wasn't terribly busy, it being middle of the week, but the exam period was disorganised and some faculties still had classes while the others were just finishing their last exams of the semester.

"i'm glad you can talk about it, yeah? it'll help you get over it"

"i don't want to get over it, though. i don't want to get over him."

so far his head had been hanging low, with his hands leaning on the table, but now harry turned to face liam. he couldn't imagine what a sight he had been, with a bloated face, spotty cheeks, and a nose turned red from the harsh paper of the napkins. he's always had a runny nose, no matter if he was crying, walking outside during winter, or working out, and yet he forgot to bring any tissues today. bless liam, honestly.

"are you quoting nicholas sparks to me again? you know i can't tell"

liam's face was hesitant, but open and friendly, showing he was trying to lighten the mood with gentle teasing.

"i might as well fucking be, lee-am." harry drawled in his best impression of a deep-voiced, manly hero, hindered only by his laughter. laughing through the tears was a new development in this situation, and usually meant that the end of whatever trouble's been sitting on his shoulders and weighing him down was near.  
he couldn't imagine that happening so soon but he was ready to accept anything at this point.

"right." liam turned in his seat and leaned back against the back rest, laying his head on top of it. his face was relaxed and the fairy lights hung behind the bar reflected in his chocolate brown eyes. "i obviously wouldn't know because the only three movies i've ever seen are die hard, die hard 2, and shrek."

"there's a die hard 2?"

"i don't care enough to check that, dude."

harry laughed, and, feeling brave and in need of affection, he leaned against liam's shoulder. it was soft, covered in a black adidas hoodie. it felt what he imagined hugging an older brother felt like. safe, affectionate, knowing that despite your differences and whatever bravado you put on, underneath it all you still share an unspoken bond.

liam made him budge slightly when he put a hand around his shoulder.

the condensation from then mostly empty mojito was turning the scratched up paper coaster mushy, while liam's first and only beer stood half empty on the side of the table near the wall. even when his drinks were supposed to be paid for for the night in exchange of the emotional labour - they were not at the stage of friendship yet where harry would not offer something in return when asking for the favour - he did not take advantage. he was there to listen, help, and offer his best advice, and not to get drunk. liam was a good friend.

harry turned his face into the warm shoulder and began to weep again.

"oh boy. what's wrong? do you actually care about that? because i can google it right now. i can check imdb, just let me get my phone."

harry shook his head. "'m sorry. you've been nothing but good to me and here i am, being an idiot. you don't deserve that. i could have done this alone, in the privacy of my room."

liam tentatively used the hand that was around harry's shoulder to half-hug him.

"it's fine, really. and you're not being an idiot. noone ever talks about how much it hurts when a friendship ends, but it's painful and hard, and i'm sorry it's happening to you. i'm sure dominic still likes you, just like...it didn't work out."

"we grew apart, and i know people change, and like, he's entering uni this year, and i'm so happy for him, i am, but i can't help but think that it didn't mean that much to him if he just let go." harry hiccupped and reached for a new napkin. "he knows about my abandonment issues and he still let me go. he still let himself get distant."

liam shrugged. "maybe he thinks you're tired of him being distant? maybe he knows it and feels guilty, so he won't speak about it. have you talked to him?"

harry nodded and wiped his nose. he stuffed the tissue into the front pocket of his jeans, where it soon started to soak the fabric.

"he himself admitted he's been distant, but it happens often, and technically, his exams just finished, so he should have all the time in the world. i don't want to blame him or anything, i just feel sorry for myself, i guess. i know friendships end, but i know i'll miss him as a person. i just really liked him."

"i know, i..know." liam patted his upper arm.

two booths down, a group of young students were laughing loudly, one of them had a small light in her mouth that flashed blue, green, and red. she leaned her head back and let the led light light up her wide open mouth while her friends laughed. liam hoped she wouldn't underestimate whatever choking hazard it must have come with.

"i wish i had something better to say. but...either you'll deal with this and pull through, somehow, and he'll work on whatever makes him so closed up, and not that it's a bad thing, but it might hurt him again in the future, or you'll just fall apart. i know it's too stupid and simple to say, but even if you meet someone you like, like, romantically, there are only two possible outcomes-"

"you either stay together for the rest of your life or you break up." harry mumbled

"yeah, and that is fucking terrifying. no two relationships are ever the same, but there are only two ways they can go."

"i knew it would end someday. i just hoped it would be later."

"yeah." liam patted his arm again and took a drink of his beer.

they were silent for a while, letting the music wash over them. it wasn't too loud to talk, but it managed to fill in the silence.

"listen..." liam started. harry lifted his head from his shoulder and turned his face towards him. they were sitting close, with harry half snuggled under his arm, his face swolledn and pale. liam suddenly remembered the first time he met him, the first week of classes when he walked into the classroom, and the first time he really met him, in the toilets after the first class, when they exchanged phone numbers so that they could work on an assignment together.

"i gotta pee."

harry blinked and processed the words. "oh. oooh!" a sheepish smile spread across his face. "sorry for keeping you."  
he untangled his legs from underneath the table and slid out of the booth and out of the way, so that liam could get to the bathroom.

harry sat down again and watched liam's retreating back.  
he wiped his face of any residue wetness and felt the dried up skin under his fingers. too bad he did not know that bringing a moisturizer to a bar could be useful. he ran a hand through his hair.

he's been sitting like that, people-watching and studying the walls for a few minutes when he caught the eyes of a stranger across the room.

the boy, short and young looking, was standing by the bar next to a small group of people. what made harry's eyes rest on him was his purple fake fur jacket and a pair of sunglasses pushed into his short but growing out hair - a strange attire for a casual pub on a wednesday night. his friends were all casually dressed, in a black leather jacket, a hoodie, or in shirts, meaning they did not come to the pub after a change of plans from whatever the boy seemed to be dressed for.  
or maybe it was just his style. harry wasn't going to judge him for creativity.

the boy held the eye contact, and so harry kept up. usually when he did that, it was because whoever was receiving it had been staring at him with judgement and did not budge when they got caught, and he was essentially staring them down, challenging them. this was different.

the boy smiled slightly with one corner of his mouth and blinked, and so harry nodded at him and smiled with his lips closed. they probably shared a class and he just didn't remember - though he had to vainly admit that he surely would remember a face like that one. perhaps it was an 8am class then. john boyega could be in the same class and 8am harry wouldn't notice.

harry moved on with his gaze to the bar and regarded the people who came up to get a drink.

a body obscured his view, not tall or broad in shoulders like liam's to actually be him, but harry did not notice that in the split second, so when he looked at the face across the booth from him (and really, why would liam suddenly feel the need to keep his distance if he was okay snuggling harry just minutes before), he was grounded by the sight, as much as by how unexpected it was as by the beauty. sue him, he was a visual kind of person.

it was the boy from the bar, the one in the purple jacket, obviously, and up close it wasn't easier to say whether it was an ugly terrible monstrosity from a h&m sale rack, or a wonderful, eccentric, fashionable piece of clothing. probably a bit of both, though the boy made it work so well harry almost pushed away the idea that it might as well be a skinned and dyed elmo. almost.

the boy didn't bring a drink with him, but he did put down his phone on the table, as well as his hands. the fingers of one tapped soundlessly against the table, while the other unde supported the gentle cut of the tanned jaw.  
if only a jaw could be tan.

that should be a good sigh right? a sign of intent. an intent of staying.

and then harry remembered the current state of his face.

"hi?" he tried. his voice cracked a bit and sounded too low after his crying tirade.  
the boy frowned a bit, but his features smoothed out soon enough.

"hi."

his voice was equally scratchy, but higher, and quite quiet in the setting of the pub. harry subconsciously leaned in to hear him better, and if he expected a strong perfume to go along with the bold fashion choices, he was let down. he couldn't smell anything, a disappointment, for sure, since he believed the boy would have a sure hand when picking out a scent for himself. there was a gray shirt underneath the jacket though, and harry regretted not catching a sight of the rest of the outfit.

"i'm not interrupting, am i?"

"hm? no!" harry shook his head, wondering where the hell has liam gone, and what is this boy doing here (is he selling drugs? campaigning for bold fur looks? doing community service by letting strangers in pubs find the meaning of life in the brightest, bluest eyes harry has seen since bingewatching peaky blinders?)

that seemed to assure the boy and he relaxed in his seat. he fixed his fringe with one hand, the movement surprisingly smooth, fingers gentle.

"good. wouldn't wanna intrude. i'm sorry if i'm overstepping any boundaries, and you should tell me to fuck off if i am, but you looked like you needed to talk? and like, i'm a complete stranger and you might never see me again, so."

he shrugged, as if that explained everything.

harry was left speechless and looked for words carefully. a pretty boy sits down with you in a pub and lets you sob into his shoulder while you wonder how sharp would his cheekbones feel underneath your fingers? harry wasn't that lucky. perhaps all the snot has somehow blocked a vein in his brain and he'll make it onto some obscure, gross reality show about top ten most lame deaths.  
he wasn't dumb, though.

"thanks? thanks, i guess. i'm good though, i have a mate, he's just in the bathroom."

okay, maybe he was dumb. this days has just been very long.

"oh, okay, then. i'm glad you do." the boy smiled. "noone deserves to be sad alone."

"shared sadness half the sadness?" harry blurted out. it made no sense, but he didn't want to let this dream slip through his fingers.

there was an endearing constellation of freckles on the boy's cheek and harry has finally seen a nose he could call cute.

"yeah, something like that." the boy laughed.

harry started wondering what his name was, but none fit. jason? no way. lucas? anthony? abraham? midnight sun? that was just ridiculous.

the boy hesitated and moved slightly to the right, as if he was about to make his apologies and leave.

"i'm fine though! like, thank you for checking up on me, i really appreciate it. i am kind of sad, but i guess it'll pass and i had a good cry on liam's shoulder, so that should take care of it."

he was not beyond sharing embarrassing details, apparently. it worked though and the boy stilled in his seat.

"good then. i'm glad if it's something you can get over with soon."

harry shrugged. "not really, but it's not new and i've been there a few times, so. it'll be fine. can't change it anyway."

the boy nodded and bit his bottom lip.

"i'm sorry."

"nah, it's...whatever."

"i don't mean to fish for details or whatever..."

"then it's good that i like oversharing." harry smiled conspirationally.

it worked, and the boy grinned in return.

"okay then." harry licked his lips, and took a sip of the mint scented melted ice that was at the bottom of his glass. "my friendship is kind of falling apart? i know it doesn't sound dramatic, but it's really painfull, cause i really liked him and we were good together. he knows things about me i didn't tell anyone else, ever, but i felt like i could tell them to him. but he never returned the favour, and of course i wouldn't push him, but i always felt like the more invested one. and he's like that a bit, closed up, and i love him, but it's been a real issue for me. and now he's growing distant and he knows we have a problem, but he's making no effort to change it. and i realised that it has always been me who started the conversation, who reached out."

louis nodded as he processed the information. "he sounds like a real shit friend."

"he wasn't. he was really nice, and lovely, and supportive, i just...i think we don't work well together. and if he wants to part ways, then i'm not gonna hold him back."

"did he say he wants to part ways?"

harry ran a hand through his hair, this time in slight frustration. the last thing he wanted was this stranger voicing all his insecurities and counter-arguments he's given himself.  
"no, but he's obviously not making any effort to keep in contact."

"then maybe he's just going through something."

"he's always going through something then."

"have you asked him?"

harry was growing annoyed. "i did, but he does not fucking talk to me." he put more emphasis on the words than necessary and ended up with a dull silence after the rude outburst.

the boy didn't shrink in his seat, but his hands were by his sides under the table and his body language did not look so open anymore.  
harry suddenly realised he almost yelled at a stranger who offered him help.

"shit, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry, okay? it's just been a long day and a long week and i texted him and told him he's hurting me and he didn't even reply to that, so. i'm not even sure if he's being a closed of person or an asshole anymore. but last time i checked he didn't have anything troubling going on, so he's not like, depressed, or under a lot of stress. i still don't know what he's dealing with cause he won't tell me, and i'm done prying anything from him."

the boy nodded.

"sorry if i pushed you, and i guess you do know the situation better than i do. maybe a little."

he offered a smile as a peace offering and harry gladly took it.

"maybe a little, yeah. oh god." he put his head in his hands and rubbed his short nails against his forehead.

"do you..want a drink? or like, you said you have a friend, sorry."

the boy adjusted his fringe again.

"yeah, i'm beginning he went to a bathroom to his hometown, though, not here."

the stranger's eyes were blue, blue, blue and harry was getting lost in them. he wanted to touch the jacked to feel if it was as fluffy as it looked, wanted to run his hand through the boy's soft-looking hair, touch the sharp angles and soft planes of his boyish face. logically, harry knew they must have been around the same age, but the boy seemed to defy any measure of years. he could have the intention of using harry for come complicated illegal ploy and yet his face would look too innocent to make you question his involvement.

"i like the jacket, by the way."

the boy stopped running his finger across the side of the coaster under harry's drink and looked up through his lashes, half playful, half checking if harry was being serious. whatever he found in his face must have satisfied him.

"thanks. at first sight i wasn't sure if it was the best thing i've ever seen or if it was really fucking hideous, but i like to think it's a skinned and dyed cookie monster, so." he shrugged and smiled.

harry laughed, loud, sudden, and embarrassing.

"that's just what i was-oh." he made the mistake of looking across the room in attempts to seem less creepy with his staring, and saw liam where louis first appeared, chatting with the same group of people on the side of the bar.

"what the hell?"

"hm?" the boy turned in his seat to check what was the problem.

"that's my mate, liam." harry nodded toward him. "i came here with him."

"those are my friends he's talking to. i didn't know him, but i guess they do." he bit his lip and looked straight into harry's face. "i could introduce you too." he said, fast and shy, but not afraid.

harry opened and closed his mouth, lost for words, and only managed to lick his lips. but then he got out a "yeah, i'd like that", and if that always got him such a lovely smile, then he would have to remember to say those words more often.

louis moved to get out of the booth again but harry's hand shot out in an attempt to stop him. he cupped the boy's hand, as it laid on the table top and supported his weight. it was unsurprisingly soft, and warm, and electric.

louis looked up from their touching hands. "yeah?"

"i don't know your name. can't be going around meeting your friends and still call you 'the boy', can i?"

he pretended to think around it. "guess you can't do that, no."

he slid his hand from under harry's, only to hold it out for a handshake.

"I'm louis."

"harry. nice to meet you."

"you too, harry." louis' voice was breathy and dreamy and somehow fit the pub with it's wooden floors and leather seats.

harry took a chance.

"would you mind terribly if i met your friends a bit later?"

louis indulged him with a smile. "depends."

"i think i'd like to get to know you better first. you already know everything important about me, obviously. i have abandonment issues, i overanalyse everything, and cry easily, and i like mojitos. but you're still an enigma."

"same, same, same, and white wine, i guess."

harry's hand shot out and captured one of louis' in a gentle, but firm grasp.

"you're not leaving this table until you tell me what the heck made you think wearing sunglasses outside after dark is a good idea. and don't tell me they make a good headband."

***

later, when harry was walking back to his dorm with liam by his side and with a new phone number in his contacts list, after getting to know louis a bit better, and being introduced to his friends, he pressed to find out what made liam disappear so conveniently.

liam's smooth voice carried on into the night as occasional twigs crunched under their feet. the night was calm and fresh and felt good on harry's skin.

"well, i went to the bathroom, but there was a queue, and so i got talking to a guy behind me, and he started showing me pics of his new puppy on his phone, and when i was walking back to the table, i saw you had company, and since it didn't look like it was unwelcomed... well." he laughed.

harry rolled his eyes at liam's smugness but rubbed his shoulder with gratefulness.

"he saw me when i stopped and hesitated, so he asked me to come around and talk, and so i did."

"and it was niall." harry filled in.

"yeah, it was niall." liam agreed.

they kept walking in silence for a few minutes.

"i'm glad i took you out and wailed on your shoulder in a pub tonight."

"i bet."

they laughed, as liam fished out the keys and unlocked the front door of the dorm building.

"lou seems nice though."

harry stopped where he stood on the third stair and turned, face partially obscured by the frame of the front door and partially lit up by the moonlight.

"yeah, he does."

**Author's Note:**

> and then they got married and lived happily ever after, tah dah.
> 
> this fic is a way how to deal with things falling apart in my own life, apparently.  
> if you're ever in harry's situation, i hope you have someone like louis who will reach out and offer help.  
> i tried to defend dominic's side appropriately, but just in case he comes off as a jerk - he's not meant to be. and he's imaginary, so there's no famous person called dominic you should be struggling to remember.
> 
> thank you for reading!!!


End file.
